Uncovered… Friendship
Marriage is built on many things. Friendship, I believe, is just the tip of the iceberg. Before we get into the top tips for cultivating a thriving friendship, the best piece of marriage advice I can give you is to love and accept yourself for exactly who you are. Identify the areas that you need […]
Uncovered… Sex
“Are We Normal?” As a sex and relationship therapist I regularly get asked -what is normal, is this normal, am I normal? In sexual medicine, we rarely use the word ‘normal’ unless we are using this to classify what ‘typically’ happens in sexual functioning as opposed to what is considered ‘acceptable’ practice because there is […]
Uncovered… Annoying habits
If you’re anything like us, our partner’s annoying habits have started to grate after a year at home in each other’s space! From coffee cups left lying around and talking too loudly on the phone, to ‘attacking’ keyboards and hogging the remote, we find ourselves ‘zeroing in’ on our other half’s annoying habits and running out of patience. By default, we assume our annoying habits are never as bad as theirs – and can always be justified […]
Uncovered… Love
What is love anyway? We have been watching the most recent series of The Crown (yes, I know we’re late to the party!). It’s portrayal of Charles & Diana’s relationship is mesmerising and ultimately desperately sad. At their engagement, on being told by a reporter that they looked very ‘much in love’, Charles famously said […]
Uncovered… Conflict
Some of the things you may have spotted over the last year as governments have grappled with the issues brought on by the pandemic are the behaviours that come out when people are under pressure. I’ve noticed these reactions: – The key thing is – who’s to blame? – You are pointing out our issues, […]
Uncovered… Dealing with the Past
Matt and Sue* cautiously sip their coffee and sit slightly apart from each other on the sofa in front of us. They’re here for their first couple coaching session and their body language and words are telling us a story of disconnection, hurt and conflict. Married 23 years, with three teenage children, they regularly find […]
Uncovered… Kindness
After nearly 35 years of marriage, I’ve finally realised I’m a slow learner. Kate’s been telling me for years what she needed from me as her husband. ‘I need you to be my friend, Harry’. That took the first eight years to realise. ‘I need you to be kind’. That took rather longer. I wish […]
Uncovered… Mental Health
I’m going to say it from the outset, marriage is hard work. Patrick and I have been married for over 25 years now and I love him dearly, but I can honestly say that I feel like I’m still getting to know him. We’ve both very different people from when got married. For a start […]
Uncovered… Looking to the future
When we’re planning our wedding or first married, looking to the future can feel like the most natural and obvious thing in the world. We’re excited about the days to come and are dreaming of what the future holds for us. But what happens as life gets busy and the years start to pass? Are […]
Uncovered… Patience
There’s an old piece of humour – “They say that patience is a skill that can be acquired. But how can I learn it faster!” That joke always makes me smile but perhaps it is an excellent reflection on today’s world. Covid-19 has trained us, or should I say forced us, to be a little […]
