We think Fun is a Love Language and it’s definitely one of ours. We LOVE to have fun and as we get older, we find ourselves pursuing it more.
Fun is a way in which we re-energise and re-create our marriages together. It reminds us of that heady sense of first falling in love with each other. We become ‘partners in crime’ or ‘best of friends’ depending on whether we are sniggering at an ‘in joke’ or sitting on a beach sipping wine together. It brings about a strong sense of connection and sees us through difficult times. Generally, if things are feeling a bit gloomy in our marriage, we can usually do a check up on ourselves and find that we’ve forgotten to prioritise time for fun. If we are in a season where things are tough because of difficult life circumstances, again prioritising fun can make things more bearable.
Some key elements of fun:
Spontaneity – unplanned adventures, stolen moments, take out on a weekday. Spontaneity keeps the fun alive. Stepping outside of routine can be good.
Planning – as well as spontaneity, some things do need to be planned in otherwise it won’t happen. Maybe a baby sitter swap needs to be booked or taking it turns to plan dates.
Adventure – whether taking on a new sport together or traveling to a new destination. The adventure can be a mental challenge like tackling a complex jigsaw or a physical one like climbing a mountain. Adventure increases our adrenalin and sense of achievement which when done together brings us closer to each other.
Connection – hanging out with friends or family can often be fun especially if laughter and food is involved!
Doing nothing – sometimes just curling up on the sofa and hanging out together is fun especially if it’s during a busy season.
For us fun can involve a cheeky G&T on a Wednesday sat on the sofa in our kitchen putting the world to rights or perhaps a long walk along our local beach. It could be hanging out with friends and laughing a lot or visiting a city we’ve never been to together.
We have some friends who have tried ‘Alphabet dating’ where they pick a date based on a different letter of the alphabet. They had so much fun with it they’ve moved on to different cuisines from the letters of the alphabet!
Fun can cost something or nothing, whether it’s staying in a fancy hotel or sitting in a park with a picnic. Sometime the less cost the more fun it is planning as you have to get creative! But it’s important we work out what it looks like for us as a couple and pursue it so that it can keep us going in the tough times and help our marriage flourish in the better times.